Page 2   Humorous Poems extracted from my books



Coggan was cogent

Soper was super

And Ramsay went rumbling on

The Patriarch pattered

And nothing much mattered

So the Sallies gave us a song

The Pontiff paternal

Spoke of feelings fraternal

While a Jesuit purged with a smile

And the Head of the Moonies

Married 4 million loonies

With majorettes all in the aisle;

Buddhists from Hong Kong

Beat “grub up” with a gong

And the stampede for supper was grim;

Two Bishops were pushed

And a cardinal crushed

As an African prelate rushed in.

Then, some appetites sated

The delegates waited

For the vote on church unity

But that vote was timed out

As supper bells chimed out

And the motion was lost finally.

Now God in his heaven

Looked down on the brethren

And sighed a great sigh of despair

And that great wind divine

Blew the grape from the vine

And curtains in temples did tear

It overturned mountains

And vaporised fountains

Sank ships and threw trains off their tracks

The cardinals cassocks

Flew off with their hassocks

And they stood not a stitch on their backs

An Archbishop’s mitre

Blew off the poor blighter

And the sky grew red with berettas

The pope was last seen

With a countenance green

Air mailing – by hand – his last letters

He unerringly sped

In trembling and dread

Over starving and poor and oppressed

And to these the wind seemed

Cool and gentle and clean

Sent from God and undoubtedly blessed

And as the pope passed

His crown was down cast

Falling right by the fathers and mothers

Who gathered the gold

And had it all sold

And shared with their sisters and brothers.

When the Lord saw their care

And how they did share

He relieved the world of his sighing

And gave Man a new start

Without priestly art

To comfort the sick and the dying.

And so now looms the end

And we cannot pretend

That we don’t know our purpose in living.

If we haven’t done all

To end Satan’s thrall

We shan’t find our Lord so forgiving.

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