The Gory Tory Incinerator Story

 

THE GORY, TORY, INCINERATORY STORYBOOK

Are you sitting comfortably, children? Then I’ll begin. Once upon a time, in a land not far from here, some Tories in a place almost a Shire, decided to buy a bright, shiny incinerator. These blue Tory Orcs, led by Sour-one, picked a spot for the smelly machine that wasn’t near any of their fine homes. And the spot they picked was far away from the places making the waste that the machine would burn. Mr Tipper, the blue, Tory blue-lorry owner, rejoiced in this. But the skies over the almost-a-shire were not all blue. Some local Tories, popping their blue heads out of their blue Boroughs, saw that they were quite close to the spot picked for the bright shiny machine. Now, children, it is well known that Tories, like most Orcs, cannot be agreeable with each other for long, in spite of shared blue rinses, blue party favours and even their blue government. So these Tories in the Borough put their blue heads together and decided to set aside loads of your money to fight the decision of the high and haughty County. This money was to be spent on a referendum to show they were on the side of you Hobbits, and on the Tory lawyers, Sue Grabbit & Run, so that they could bring the matter before a Tory judge for a judicial review. A Judicial Review is a sort of expensive and endless humming and hawing, children. This cost could be avoided if the blue Tories in the Government would refuse the to give the blue County Tories their ration of "PFI sweeties".  But your MP was away busy hand-wringing, which is like bell ringing but without any purpose. For you almost-Hobbit-like townsfolk of the place that is nearly a Shire, a “NO” to PFI cash and sweeties was the only hope. Your farms and fields might soon be under the dark shadow of The Ash Cloud, though tinted a delicate blue. Some think that an almost welcome change from rape seed oil yellow, but there are various shades of rape as Mr Tory blue Kenneth Clarke tells us. It won’t be quite “Mordor”, but  “blue Murder” it will be, for sure. Now the moral of this story,  is that Tories,  who are

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